claudia's cafe, morwell

An intimate, quality cafe that knows the meaning of the word "hospitality".

Jesswa


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Joined Aug 15 2010
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FEMALE
36 years old
Under The Bridge
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claudia's cafe morwell
Eccentric Oddities

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About Me

The abolishment of black slavery, women’s right to vote, loser kids being picked for sporting teams… as we look back upon our rich and illustrious history we can see that defining moments within our society have been as a result of barriers being crossed… of walls being brokend own. No other wall breaking experience has touched us more than thebreaking of the uterine wall that delivered us the in surmountable beauty and grace that is Jesswa


 

It was a cloudy day inthe middle of October when the infant child, Jesswa, was brought intothis world. The wind was bellowing through the trees, lights were flickering on and off across the countryside, a man, all alone in his dark and dingy apartment treating himself to a spot of tea and a generous helping of scrumpets (probably with honey). There was nothing remarkable about the day, or the child in particular… at least, that’s what everyone thought.


 

It was only little things at first,things that, on their own could easily be dismissed, however as these unexplainable incidences became more frequent and overt, it was undeniable that this Jessica was no regular child at all. It began with advanced motor skills and vocabulary and culminated in enviable diamond cutting and origami skills, the likes of which you have never seen. Infact, it was fabled that during the 19th century, Jesswa lead an abandonment of orphans to their salvation by folding a sturdy boat out of an A4 sheet of sub par recycled office paper.

 


Nevertheless,tales of this Jessica have travelled across all continents and transcended every culture. Though photos of this miracle child are few and far between, it is rumoured that she lives amongst the sycamore trees in the highlands of Colorado. Footage of Jessica has surfaced over the past couple of years however, experts have discredited these tapes, having concluded that what was first believed to be Jessica was in fact just a handful of macadamia nuts glued together and tethered to a stick.

 


Proof of the existence of Jesswa fetches a highprice – season one of Family Matters on DVD and a two for one voucher redeemable at any La Porchetta (not valid on weekends or publicholidays). For more information contact Ruth on 1800-JESSICA-LIVES(1800-8364-54837)

 


:D

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7 Comments

Reply chefmaster
2:55 PM on December 21, 2010 
Well I must say it has been a triumphant year in the battle of "good" against "Jesswa" this year at Claudia's Cafe. Mind you, her feeble attempts at a "cafe-coup d'etat" ( or "government take-over" for those of you who boast about having been to France but not been able to venture past "bonjour" liguistically") were nothing more than the feeble rumblings of wind broken during a thunderstorm. Little to be heard, just a bad smell that linguered. Nothing more heard of from little Jesswa since the humiliation of her annihilation during what has become known as "the seven weeks war on words" between herself and our very own masked hero "The Chefmaster" .
p.s some readers have expressed concern about my flying capabilities since my recent hot chip binges. I can only re-asure my readers that the extra poundage will not effect my flying capabilities what so ever as Chefmaster can not fly. Mind you, My trustysteed has slowed a little during my newly found heftiness about the hips.
....you won't break these ribs with a l'il ole hug hey readers...teehee.
See y'all next year. For now it's a Hi Ho silver and an up up and away.......(might have to change that last bit...now I can see how people get confused)

God Bless
CM
Reply lyn54@live.com.au
4:11 AM on September 3, 2010 
the lion tamer prowls and will get back to you
Reply chefmaster
8:56 AM on August 23, 2010 
Oh little Jesswa, sweet little Jesswa.
I hear the sound of little feet scurrying ...tis the sound of sweet little Jesswa. She is so busy. She hurries to and she hurries fro. She is a busy little Jesswa.
And I call to her....."little Jesswa, please run this order out to Table P"
And she looks at me.....with those little puppy dog eyes and says "No, do it yourself" and I am left wondering, do I really know her.........?
Reply claudia davies
12:38 AM on August 22, 2010 
Enough said Private Punctual!!!
Reply claudia davies
3:11 AM on August 17, 2010 
You're an inspiration to us all Jess. And your words are certainly words to live by. Have a lovely night and see ya in the morning fellow cafe slave!!!! Claud
Reply claudia davies
3:59 AM on August 16, 2010 
Hi Jesswa, maybe you haven't got time to write salacious 3 volume novels as you probably need all your energy for your job at a certain cafe - hmmmm??!! I like the macaroni idea much, much better. Thanks for taking the time Jess!!
Reply claudia davies
3:23 AM on August 15, 2010 
Oh Jesswa, what would we do without you???!!! You're a classic my friend. It was an enthralling tale wasted in this forum. Have you considered a three volume novel my lovely? Thanks for joining my site Jess. Claud